Category: Kids

Bestest Sealy Calling

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We went to South Padre Island’s Water park today. It was ho-hum. Afterwards, we went to Darado’s.

At Darado’s the girls were getting on great and Cindy asked the girls if they had nick names for each other. After all, they have named and developed personalities for all their 100’s of stuffed animals. Though, its hard to see how G stood D enough to do this as D spends so much time bossing her around with arbitrary rules and commandments. Anyway, D said she just calls G, G. G said that she just calls D, “EVIL“. We all laughed, except D.

D said that G wasn’t her friend. Cindy asked D who her best friend was and D listed her 3 closest friends including R who lives on our block. Cindy pointed out that she never wants to go play with R when she is playing with G. “You would rather play with your little sister than one of your best friends?!?”

D interrupted this discussion announcing, “Phone call from Bestest Sealy — Mommm, I have to take this!” Bestest sealy is D’s stuffed life size baby harp seal. Being life size stops Sealy from going places with us but she will sometimes call in (via D’s pretend mobile phone) to find out if we can bring home chocolate cake.

D said she really needed to take the pretend call from the pretend harp seal. We pointed out to D that the pretend seal could leave a pretend voice mail. D insisted that it was awfully important and it couldn’t wait.

Turns out the seal was calling to ask me if the restaurant served chocolate cake. I told D that the place sold chocolate banana cake. Listening in on the rest of the conversation … the seal was horrified that anyone would ruin a chocolate cake with bananas.

The Ocean

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After forever, we arrived at South Padre Island Saturday night. We ate at Scampi’s which was nice but ouch it was expensive. I had fresh Red Snapper which was the expensive part. D had a fruit and cheese tray which was a better deal. G had a Pizza which she is still eating on 2 days later.

The next day we went to the beach trusting D to put on her own sunscreen. At the beach, we let the waves beat us up for 2 hours and then went back to the house for lunch. G and D were both given plastic turtles by their grandmother. G named hers “Smarty Pants” and D named hers “Shelly”. For the whole long drive down, both girls had been promising their turtle that it would get to go in the ocean. As soon as we got to the beach, they took the turtles into the ocean. Within 5 minutes, everyone’s turtle had been knocked out of their hands and we were frantically searching the Atlantic Ocean for 2 small plastic turtles. Somehow we found them and I banished the turtles to dry land and fresh water.

After our 2 hour morning beating, we went back and had lunch and then went back to the beach. Back into the waves and even more digging. Under the sun, D made a sand cave for her turtle and G used shells to decorate the sand castle she and Cindy had built.

After Dinner, D started crying. Her back was lobster red. I walked to the Blue Marlin to get her some gel for the burn. She must have sprayed the sun screen over her shoulder and completely missed her back.

Beginning

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10 minutes into the trip things got even worse when D started documenting the dissolution of G’s emotional state in her summer journal. G can’t stand it when she drops a piece of something in the car and can’t reach it. “PULL OVER, STOP THE CAR, …. NOW! …. NOW!!!” Cindy had just jammed on the brakes when a small car jumped in front of us and Gemma’s pieces had flown out of her lap.

The typical family response to our youngest demands in this case is for D and Cindy to start telling her how she is being unreasonable and then all the girls and Cindy talk, talk and talk about it. After that, they …. talk about it. After a while, I usually yell, “EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.” Gosh, I wonder where G gets it from.

Things got better quickly after that.

Now we are in Austin listening to the rumbling of 10 Harley Davidson Motorcycles in the parking lot and D and G fighting in bed. G is tired and hyper and D is jabbering continuously. Currently, D is in the closet talking about how she is trying to read without a light. G is in the girls’ bed worrying that if she talks at all the people next door will call security to kick her out of the hotel. (Cindy can be pretty convincing with so called natural consequences).

Underwear Accessory Design

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D had chigger bites along her panty line. We put chigger-rid on the bites and D was told to hold her underwear off the bites for the chigger-rid to dry. After a few minutes, she ran to the art room where she cut a short length of yarn. She tied the color coordinated yarn around her underwear so it bunched up away from the bites. She gave a quick invention description and demonstration and then bounced off to bed.

Family Car Thief Training

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Cindy called, the Corolla wouldn’t open and she and the girls were going to be late for their ice skating lessons. The only thing the key would open was the trunk. I suggested that she fold down the back seat from the trunk and climb into the car and unlock it from the inside.

Cindy assayed the relative size of herself and the passage through the trunk to the car’s interior and volunteered G (our 7 year old) to go into the car. While D and Cindy cheered, G proudly unlocked the doors.

Combining G’s skills and small size with cooler weather and a Trojan strategy, I think we would really have something.

Why don’t you google how to be cool?

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Cindy and the girls got themselves hooked on this season’s American Idol. Last night Cindy took off to book club, leaving me to watch the TV show with the girls. I was trying to undermine the commercials and on one of the car ones I said, “I wish I could have that car so that I could be cool just like him.”

G, our 7 year old, told me to go to google and google ‘how to be cool’. I told her I could be cool without google’s advice.  She gave me a look.

Catching up

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A long time friend wrote me one of those here’s what’s happened in the last 5 years email.  I was at the computer when it arrived so I know what was happening here as he wrote it.

As he was describing how his youngest was taking violin lessons and planning on performing with the youth symphony my oldest was out back creating a standby cemetery for my youngest to play in so she wouldn’t defile the real fish cemetery.  While his oldest was experimenting with electronics, my youngest was writing “I hate you Mom” on a piece of paper.

In Cold Blood

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My grandfather is dead.  He died in Garden City Kansas several years ago.  When he died, they talked about him on the radio because for something like 40 years he did a weekly radio show.  He was well known and respected by the Kansas farming and agriculture community.  He worked with the universities and the farmers to improve yields and farming techniques.

He is mentioned in Capote’s book.  He was one of a group of people who went and cleaned the house after the killings.

Arguments

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Both of our girls go out of their way to make their points and share their ideas. Because my family spends hours and days assigning and realizing names, roles, personalities and ranks to every stuffed animal in the house, these arguments are weird and surreal.

I was ‘talking’ D’s webkinz cow and the cow was saying she would like to try hamburger.

D, “Hamburger is made from Cow — Dead Cow”

Cow said, “Its made out of pig. Haaaammmmmburger. Ham is pig. Don’t they teach you anything at
school?”

D, “Burgers are dead cow bits.”

Cow replies, “You are a misguided little child with a small mind that has shriveled like a raisin.”

D, “I’ve got a knife and I am going to make hamburger right now.”

Cow, “Great! Where’s the pig?”

D, “No, I am going to make a hamburger out of you while you watch and die”

Cow, “You are sick”

D’s Invention

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D has invented redundant floss packaging. She’s created a methodology for removing the floss spindle from one floss package and placing it in the case of another. Cindy and I have attended several impromptu lectures concerning the techniques and benefits of this floss spindle transfer technology.

D says that she will now be able to use the same floss case forever!