Arguments

Both of our girls go out of their way to make their points and share their ideas. Because my family spends hours and days assigning and realizing names, roles, personalities and ranks to every stuffed animal in the house, these arguments are weird and surreal.

I was ‘talking’ D’s webkinz cow and the cow was saying she would like to try hamburger.

D, “Hamburger is made from Cow — Dead Cow”

Cow said, “Its made out of pig. Haaaammmmmburger. Ham is pig. Don’t they teach you anything at
school?”

D, “Burgers are dead cow bits.”

Cow replies, “You are a misguided little child with a small mind that has shriveled like a raisin.”

D, “I’ve got a knife and I am going to make hamburger right now.”

Cow, “Great! Where’s the pig?”

D, “No, I am going to make a hamburger out of you while you watch and die”

Cow, “You are sick”

D’s Invention

D has invented redundant floss packaging. She’s created a methodology for removing the floss spindle from one floss package and placing it in the case of another. Cindy and I have attended several impromptu lectures concerning the techniques and benefits of this floss spindle transfer technology.

D says that she will now be able to use the same floss case forever!

Excel VBA Programming

I hate VBA programming in Excel.  I am sure that it is just a matter of my ignorance of some underlying foundation of logic.  It seems like there is multiple ways to set a variable and multiple types of variables.  For example, why does ‘a=b’ usually work but sometime ‘set a = b’ required?

Benford’s Law Part 1

“You are full of sh**.”

I looked up from my lunch in surprise. I had been telling the table at the burrito place about this weird statistical thing called “Benford’s Law” that I had read about.

“You are saying that if I look at the first digit of any number it is 20% likely to be a 1”.

I said yes for most collection of numbers.

“Addresses?”

Yes.

“File sizes?”

Absolutely, I responded. Then I told them that this holds true if you change the numbers into hexadecimal.

“You’re a moron.”